A old one.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
Smartest Man in the World
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."
Girl 1: I am in Love
Girl 2 : Who is he
Girl 3: how does he look
Girl 4: what color
Girl 5: how tall is he
Girl 6: what is he doing
Girl 7: who are his frnds
Girl 8: how rich is he
After full inspection
All girls: Be careful he might be a bad guy
Girl 1 : hmm.. Ok
Now same situation
Boy 1 : M in love
Boy 2 : party
Boy 3 : party
Boy 4 : party
Boy 5 : party
Boy 6 : party
:D :D :D :D
Girl 2 : Who is he
Girl 3: how does he look
Girl 4: what color
Girl 5: how tall is he
Girl 6: what is he doing
Girl 7: who are his frnds
Girl 8: how rich is he
After full inspection
All girls: Be careful he might be a bad guy
Girl 1 : hmm.. Ok
Now same situation
Boy 1 : M in love
Boy 2 : party
Boy 3 : party
Boy 4 : party
Boy 5 : party
Boy 6 : party
:D :D :D :D
Funny Oxymoron's:
(An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together)
1) Clearly misunderstood
2) Exact Estimate
3) Small Crowd
4) Act Naturally
5) Found Missing
6) Fully Empty
7) Pretty ugly
8) Seriously funny
9) Only choice
10) Original copies
&
the Mother of all
11) Happily Married
(An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together)
1) Clearly misunderstood
2) Exact Estimate
3) Small Crowd
4) Act Naturally
5) Found Missing
6) Fully Empty
7) Pretty ugly
8) Seriously funny
9) Only choice
10) Original copies
&
the Mother of all
11) Happily Married
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